Often, when you feel resistance towards something - its even more important that you do it. When you feel resistance is when something can be changed, something can be shifted. If you're feeling the resistance, there is a good chance its something you need to do, you must do.
If it requires all of you, it is hard but so worth it.
I often think in terms of past, present and future self. I am loving myself well when I can do something hard now knowing that I am setting my future self up for a win. Be it moving your body or telling a friend the truth, you will never regret doing the difficult but needed thing.
Going after what you want, being the best version of you is not a piece of cake. It is an incredibly difficult feat. It's easy to set goals but not to follow them through. You must daily, daily choose to do the best you can. Its easy to 'follow the crowd', to complain, to not tell the truth, to manipulate.
But you have dreams and plans and goals and they will not magically land in your lap. Anything worth doing requires work and discipline. We must be willing to put it in.
And rest to, thats just as hard. To slow down, to be quiet, to pay attention to what is going on underneath.
We often think we need to harden up against life, we need to get tough and strong and fearless.
I no longer think this is the case, I think the best solution, (the harder one) is to release, to surrender, to let go, to soften. I think the bravest choice is to get small and vulnerable, to actually ask for help.
When we ask for help, we are reminded of our humanity, our need for community. We cannot do this thing alone. We are in this together, and too often we get hurt when we fail to recognise this.
I, on a regular basis - embarrass myself, put myself out there and make myself vulnerable and it doesn't always go well. But I always have this to hold on to - if I just help one person through 'putting myself out there' that will be enough.
There is enough for all of us. Love multiplies, it doesn't work like finite things do, where there is a limited number and once its all gone, its all gone. NO more. Sorry, try again tomorrow.
My brother and I equally adored each other and fought with each other when we were little. (Still do most days, but hey there has been some maturing ;) ) We were really good sharers, particularly with food. I have a memory of us sitting down on the lounge room floor splitting a smarties box. One for you, one for me, and so we would choose on our turn until the box was empty. We'd be happy and satisfied that we each had an equal amount (and if there was an odd one - mum would get it)
My point? Life doesn't work like that with love, with trust, with belonging. Most of the time it actually multiplies, I can't hog love - I can give you love out of the overflow I've been given. It doesn't work like a box of smarties. One for you, one for me and on and on. We cannot measure the most important things in life.
They require attention, evaluation and effort.
And at the end of the day, those things are always worth it.