A few years ago, I received a sort of hate letter from someone I thought to be a dear friend.
It really, really hurt. And I still seek truth over the lies that were written. Over the angrily, sprawled out red letters that detailed where I had got it wrong. How I was a burden. How they couldn't handle me.
I still get nervous and have a moment of anxiety when I see a note written for me. It just goes to show how much impact experiences and events have on us. And how important it is - to really question what you are living into. What you are believing.
In recent years, having fall in love with the written word and now having discovered how much its been a part of me since I was a kid, having people affirm it in me. Speak truth over me. Call out the greatness and potential in me while still believing I am worthy as I am. It is a sort of healing, a transformation.
A way to turn something that hurt into something good.
It makes me realise how we can create life or death with our words. How we can be mean, cynical and lazy with our words. And how we can be kind, affirming and creative with our words.
People are desperately, fighting and wrestling with lies that have been spoken over them. Lies create death. Truth sets you free.
We use words all the time. Face to face, email, texts, social media, over the phone. All the time.
The fastest, best way to create transformation is to seek truth. To not only root out the weeds (lies) but to plant flowers (truth, beauty) in their place.
Calling out someones potential, affirming them in who they are and what they are good at is something that makes them want to be even better. Call someone kind, and they become more so. Call someone courageous and they live into that. It sounds like manipulation, and we do not like manipulation. But its the best kind. Affirming someone and laying down our cynicism is one of the best ways to create change. To call someone up to be the best version of themselves.
Actions are important. I get that. I to believe that words are empty if not followed by action. If someone says they'll be there for you - it only holds up if that comes true. If they show with action their love, their promise.
Its become quite cute to say 'I'm here for you'. I often wonder what it would do if we actually meant it. If we showed up for ourselves, if we showed up for people. I think we might just change the narrative.